Sunday, February 28, 2016

Things I've learnt as a first time mum

Aoife is coming up to three months old and I've learnt so much in that time. There are things I used to do when she was newborn that I now know I don't need to do.

I have no time
for anything! I'll think to myself 'oh I think I'll have a cup of coffee whilst she's napping' and then bam, as soon as I make the coffee Aoife is awake and wants a cuddle instead. Not that I mind of course, but there are times where I do want a little sit down with a cup of coffee and a biscuit.  As well as that, I'll put Aoife down to sleep, I'll get caught doing something and before I know it she's awake and wanting a bottle, but I haven't sterilised them yet!? Time feels like it goes so quickly.

It is possible to function on three hours sleep
It's not ideal and not easy, but I have no choice but to function on a small amount of sleep. Aoife has gone through a recent clingy patch where she won't have an afternoon nap, except if it's on me, so my sleep deprivation was at an all time high. However, after getting a few tips from other mums we've now dealt with that so we get to have an afternoon nap each but there are still a handful of times where Aoife still fights her sleep. 

I am not perfect
When Aoife was first born I was so overwhelmed. I had a newborn with feeding difficulties; which made her cry constantly, I was so sore from having the section and then on top of that the apartment was a complete state. I then learnt that I'm not perfect. It's okay to let the housework falter because I have a little one to look after. There's also no such thing as the perfect mum that we all feel we should be. Especially as a first time mum; I'm going to make mistakes and get things wrong but I will learn from them.
I am never prepared
No matter how much I plan and how much I get ready I've found that I'm never truly prepared for when we are going out. There will be a poopy nappy or Aoife will spit up or I've forgotten something in the changing bag we really need. Now I've learnt to deal with it and just go with the flow. No-one is ever truly prepared for anything.

It is okay to ask for help
This one came to light very recently. Everything had got on top of me; I was so tired, I felt alone and everything was piling up inside my head. My honey and I finally had a talk after I had a very tearful day which let all those stresses come out into the open. In my head I didn't want to tell people I was struggling because I had this fear that I'd be branded a bad mum, but in reality a lot of mums are struggling too. I'm a first time mum, I'm going to need help because I've never done this before.

It is okay to have alone time
I think I was suffering from some degree of separation anxiety. I didn't want to leave Aoife with anyone; what if she needed me? The other day I went to my mum's and my sisters asked me if I wanted to go on a trip to the local shops. I ummed and ahhed because Aoife was asleep and I didn't want to leave her. My mum said 'you can leave her here, what do you think I'm going to do to her?' What was I thinking was going to happen to her? My mum has had six children so she knows how to look after a baby. Mums need a bit of time away from their babies sometimes. I left Aoife with her dad for the first time as well last week and I knew she would be safe. 

PS ~ Do you like our pictures? Aoife and I had some proper pictures done at PixiFoto. I love them so much!

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